chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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