So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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