the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
