I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
