I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize