How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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