I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my being single is dangerous.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
