did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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