One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
