You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize