Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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