We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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