Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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