were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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