drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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