Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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