she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
