he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
