he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I showed him my bush... on skype.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
