Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize