I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
