Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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