there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Nobody cheats on THIS.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
