Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
