Sponge bath it is.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
