I wannas sexs uuuuu
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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