Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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