i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
