We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
