i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
