let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
