i think my tv is drunk
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize