I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize