Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
