I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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