did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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