Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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