Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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