i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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