I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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