her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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