is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
