Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
