that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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