he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
