Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just took my morning after pill in the library
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize