is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
