"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
