You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
