you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
