p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
