fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
