we have officially lost it.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
