Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
