I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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