All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
