I love black thongs
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
