I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
