We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
