I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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