if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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