it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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