she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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