Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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