I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
