yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
