he thought i was a dude.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
