very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
