Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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