He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
